Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
