What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
