What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
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I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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