I love having hate sex.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
