So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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