Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
