I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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