I cannot find my penis.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
