is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
