I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She needs sedatives and a leash
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
