It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
