Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
