He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
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Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
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I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.