Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.

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(937): View more from Ohio

was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.

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(770): View more from Georgia

it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(202): View more from Washington, DC

But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself

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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.

(1-905): View more from Ontario

Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.

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