Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives

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  (732): her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives http://tfl.nu/13r9
  Replies (15) Good night (4136) Bad night (1271)
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  (+81): View more from

  I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You're never coming back, are you?

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  (+81): I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days. (+61): You're never coming back, are you? http://tfl.nu/mhpp
  Replies (63) Good night (6811) Bad night (947)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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  (360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x
  Replies (63) Good night (5736) Bad night (1116)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad

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  (314): Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad http://tfl.nu/ilsx
  Replies (19) Good night (1282) Bad night (2897)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.

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  (773): After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in. http://tfl.nu/8v36
  Replies (11) Good night (1565) Bad night (2872)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.

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  (740): Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party. http://tfl.nu/kjr7
  Replies (6) Good night (3688) Bad night (1189)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.

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  (513): literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night. http://tfl.nu/en91
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (3127)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

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  (347): Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight" http://tfl.nu/561l
  Replies (5) Good night (3263) Bad night (934)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet

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  (908): Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet http://tfl.nu/3286
  Replies (5) Good night (2245) Bad night (706)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think

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  (401): in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think http://tfl.nu/ydqs
  Replies (17) Good night (994) Bad night (2268)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night

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  (215): can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night http://tfl.nu/b1z7
  Replies (11) Good night (1321) Bad night (570)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking

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  (813): Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/kd2w
  Replies (4) Good night (938) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money

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  (716): So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed. (1-716): Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money http://tfl.nu/8jhe
  Replies (9) Good night (2945) Bad night (601)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.

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  (541): I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis. http://tfl.nu/x9yx
  Replies (4) Good night (1002) Bad night (681)
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  (212): View more from New York

  be right there i have to get my cape

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  (212): be right there i have to get my cape http://tfl.nu/i9cb
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (285)

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