Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"