someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.