from now on my penis is your penis
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
