I smell stomach acid.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
