summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
