grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
