I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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