i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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