You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
