He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
