the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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