You surviving the open bar?
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So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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