Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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