I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
