happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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