well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
