We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
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Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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