My room smells like vodka and shame
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
