I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
