i would punch a child for taco bell
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
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Everything about him screamed your future.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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