omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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