They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
