i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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