my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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