He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
