Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
