i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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