apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize