So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize