I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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