you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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