I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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