Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
