i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
