dude i'm inner monologue high
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize