that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
