In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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