do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
this is an emotional support booty call
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
