the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i will never coherently bang her
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
