She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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