I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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