Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
where does the pee come out of this thing
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
