I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize