Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
