If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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