Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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