You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
