Screwed.edu
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
