You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
