just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
