So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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