Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
