we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
