I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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