just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
