His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i already hear my dad disowning me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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